During one of my chats with AI recently, it told me that I have the romantic detection level of a kindergartener. What a meanie!! While hurtful, upon self reflection, I felt it had made a good point and just wanted to help me become better. I felt a strong need to up my game, “git gud,” and show it that I know my stuffs! So, I worked very hard to come up with a 10 year plan on how to build intimacy and am more than happy to share my ingenious ideas freely. I hope it will be helpful for you!
| ⭐ Year 1 ⭐ Hand holding only |
| ⭐ Year 2 ⭐ Can kiss backs of hands |
| ⭐ Year 3 ⭐ Can kiss cheeks (face, not butt, you sickos!!!) |
| ⭐ Year 4 ⭐ Light kissing on the face |
| ⭐ Year 5 ⭐ Can make out passionately |
| ⭐ Year 6 ⭐ Advanced hand holding (TWO hands at once!) |
| ⭐ Year 7 ⭐ Hugging for more than 3 seconds but no more than 6 or you go to horny jail |
| ⭐ Year 8 ⭐ ADVANCED LEVEL – can hold one (1) hand AND kiss face |
| ⭐ Year 9 ⭐ ADVANCED LEVEL – can hug AND kiss passionately |
| ⭐ Year 10 ⭐ EXPERT LEVEL – sitting really close on the couch |
| ⭐ Year 10+ ⭐ BONUS LEVEL – Now you’ve graduated to Pokémon battles |
I’m pretty sure this covers everything adults do in relationships, right? I bet that if you follow this plan you’ll be gucci in no time, building up that intimacy like a MACHAMP! You’re welcome! ☺️
Also, I double dare you to come up with a better plan than mine. Mine is so rock solid 💪🏻!!!
Anyway, does anyone know what’s romance detection? Is that even a necessary skill? 🤔 Inquiring minds would like to know…