I was helping a friend process some limiting beliefs and we came across the topic of needing to prove that we can “take shit” to put it frankly.
She gave me a scenario where she feels physically sick from having to be around certain people but she pushes through because if she’s healed, shouldn’t she be able to tolerate a situation like this? Like, not let it get to her, not let others feel they have power over her or whatever.
I felt a bit startled by this situation. My immediate reaction was no absolutely not, GTFO of there especially if your body is telling you that you feel so sick around these people. That’s such a strong intuitive signal that *needs* to be respected.
We went back and forth about this for a bit and I was trying to understand why she felt the need to override her body’s natural instincts. It seemed to me that her body intuitively knew best what she should do but her mind was working overtime to fight against it.
I shared with her that this scenario makes me think that she’s been invited to enjoy a meal at an outhouse and it just smells like dookie everywhere. But she’s trying her best to be polite and tolerate the smells while consuming sustenance. Clearly, her body is like NOPE this stinks we need to go but her mind is like, “I shouldn’t be rude, I should be able to take this.” But why? It stanky. Time to go.
She told me that her natural next steps would be to try and make the situation more manageable. For example, she’d use nose plugs to help with the smell. I was completely blown away by her resourcefulness and wondered what she would do next, spray Febreeze all over the place? Then it just smells like Febreeze AND dookie.
I said to her, “Yes, you CAN choose to enjoy your meal in the outhouse. But you also… don’t have to? Life is too short, you can’t get that time back. So you need to *choose wisely* how you want to spend your time.”
We eventually got to a point where things started clicking for her and she understood why she was still fighting so hard to tolerate “shitty” situations, when instead she could just focus her time and energy on better things, like tending to her lush garden that she’s been working so hard on that actually smells fragrant and grows beautiful flowers.
Just because people invite us to their outhouses doesn’t mean we have to join them. We can say, “Nah, I’m good. Y’all enjoy!” Lol. People will try to mask that outhouse as something pleasant and enjoyable, like it’s a honor to visit their outhouse. Usually the worse something is, the harder they’ll need to make it sound better and try to sell it. Don’t take the bait! Dookie is dookie no matter how well or beautifully you dress it up!!!
I’m always in awe of how my friend is able to face her own limiting beliefs, identify them so clearly, work on them, transmute them, and create breakthroughs. I so absolutely *love* seeing people work through their struggles and shed what no longer works so that they can live more freely and authentically. It inspires me to keep working on my own stuff. Super grateful for this friendship! ❤️