I discovered something fascinating about the old photos of me and my twin flame that I had found around a month ago and why I was avoiding that box and the room it was in for the longest time. For some reason, whenever I try to pull up the memory I have of the last time I had looked at the photos in the past, I see myself wondering why my twin flame looks so “dead in the eyes.” At the time, I remember thinking, “How come I never noticed this before?” and assumed they didn’t want to be there at my birthday celebration, and that they only attended out of social obligation. It was such a heartbreaking memory to have. For the longest time I did not want to go near those photos, fearing having my heart broken all over again. However, as I look at the photos now, that’s not what I see at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite — my twin flame looks SO joyful and happy to be next to me. So, I wonder why I have this memory that’s so far from the truth?
Was it my protective filters trying to explain my pain back then? Did I project my own unhappiness onto the photo at the time I created that memory? Was I tapped into my twin flame’s energy and reflecting what they were experiencing during our separation? Was this divinely orchestrated so that I wouldn’t learn of the truth of our past until the time is right, as the truth would’ve been too difficult to bear during separation, and also that I could focus on my own personal growth? I have no idea but I’d bet that it’s probably a mix of all of that.
I guess it really doesn’t matter though, as I can see with my own eyes what’s actually there without my protective filters now, and it’s lots of love and joy. I suppose it’s time for me to know the truth. But what has me a bit worried is what other memories do I have that are this incorrect as well? Not trying to gaslight myself here, but in this case it’s such a big difference of what I remember vs reality that it has me wondering. Damn, those protective filters were so strong! I’m just relieved I can see clearly now.
Anyway, I thought this false memory was really weird. I hope this was just an isolated event and I don’t have too many other memories that are so incorrect like this. But if so, I suppose when the time is right, those memories will also correct themselves? How strange!
P.S. Lately, I’ve been feeling a sense of completion. Like… my original intention with this blog is now fulfilled — home has been found — we have both reconnected with our authentic Selves. Or at least it sure feels that way, unless my intuition wishes to surprise me later lol. A friend of mine asked me how I feel now that this chapter seems complete. I said great! Another radiant sun reborn! ☀️
Months ago, when I first learned of the possibility that my twin flame might’ve thought I resented them for having left so suddenly without a word, and that I never cared, I thought to myself, “No way in hell will they believe such nonsense!” and set out to course correct just in case that possibility was indeed true. The only thing I’m willing to accept from them, if we are to be separated, is that they’re thriving and living their best life, radiating the love and joy that they are to everyone around them, free from any unnecessary suffering. But if they’re going to suffer from believing something that isn’t even true — like thinking I resented them or never cared — then I’d rather put everything on the line to correct that misunderstanding than let them carry that pain unnecessarily. Otherwise, what gives?! This connection is way too important for me to just leave things up to chance. I don’t know if they truly understand the depth of love I have for them.
As uncomfortable as it is for me, as I’m an incredibly private person, I don’t mind being publicly vulnerable if I can be a catalyst for change and somehow help inspire my twin flame back towards their authentic Self — a risk I would be willing to take time and time again. I believe it’s a small price to pay for a chance at a beautiful transformation! And if that happens to help others as well, I’m totally cool with it.
After months of working towards my goal, strategically peeling back both of our protective layers one at a time — afraid that my intensity would send my twin flame running for the hills so I slowly released a journey of healing — I feel like I finally got my truth out there and its energetic impact has landed in the way that I’d hoped. I can relax again. Whether my twin flame has actually read my journey or not is immaterial as I believe the corrective energy is already out there doing its job. My intuition thinks they have been reading my words though!
While I can’t confirm if any of my assumptions are true, the energy around this situation does indeed feel that way to me — I’ve never felt such a strong sense of pure, unobstructed, and harmonious peaceful energy between us before. Like, all roadblocks have been removed. So much unconditional love! It feels very nice!!! I trust my intuition and so I’m going to believe my job here is done for now. I’m excited to see what’s next. I’m sure my intuition will continue guiding me flawlessly as it has been doing. I’ll continue being a good lil meatsack! Onto a new chapter!!!
P.P.S. I might need a bit of a break. Going this hard and emotionally vulnerable for months has been quite an intense experience lol. The amount of times I’ve been bedridden from unexpected memories and emotions that had suddenly risen and had to work through them was uh… fascinating lmao. I’m glad I have the tools to get through stuff like this now, though, and to continue transmuting these shadows away. Hopefully I’ve cleared away what is untrue and that what comes up next won’t be as brutal lol.
I might need some time to strategize about the future of this blog now that this milestone seems complete. If I don’t post as frequently just know it’s not because I don’t desire to, but I’m planning my next moves. My hope is that eventually, down the road if they so choose (no pressure!), my twin flame might join in on this blog at some point and share their side of the story and any wisdom that they’d so wish to share. But of course, sometimes what I want and what I need may not align so we shall see what happens. I’m committed to going with the flow and what the universe has planned for our best interests. Please help put some positive energy out there to make this dream of mine come true. Thank you!!! 🙏 🥰
Anyways, time for a big nappy! 😴
