I recently started playing the piano again. It’s been so many years. As like most other Asian kids, I was forced to learn how to play the piano when I was a child. I didn’t really enjoy it back then but stuck with it because it seemed important to my parents and I really wanted to see them happy. I also happened to have had a somewhat verbally and physically abusive piano teacher who was not shy from using fear to scare his students towards improvement. I met one of his star pupils in college who asked me if my parents also had to sign a waiver to allow him to physically beat us so we can’t sue him, to which I had no idea lol. Also, WTF?! LMAO. I had to ask my mom and she “didn’t remember” and I was like MMHMMMMMMMM SUREEEE. It was a bit shocking to consider that my parents would’ve been okay with that. Anyway, wherever he is now, I hope he’s less traumatizing for his students.
I remember one time he didn’t “like the way I walked” as he found it too stiff and that my arms weren’t swinging to his liking so he forced me to walk up and down the hallway until I swung my arms to his satisfaction. Control issues much!? LOL! In hindsight I feel bad for him that this was something he cared about lmao. Sometimes I wonder what he went through as a child to have turned out the way he did. Sadge. And to my piano teacher, if you’re reading this, allow me to pass on a bead of knowledge that my painting teacher once so eloquently and lovingly shared with me, “Bruh, please go get some therapy.”
Funny story though, I remember one day during music theory class, the idea of his tie getting stuck in a fan came up and he asked if any of us in the class would save him by turning the fan off. Crickets. Absolute crickets. He then said, “Okay so what if my tie gets stuck and then I fall down the stairs and get hit by an ice cream truck?” More crickets. No one said a word. While going to get ice cream from the ice cream truck did sound very enticing to me, silence still ensued. That’s how much fear he instilled in us that my curiosity about what flavors the ice cream truck carried was stifled by the situation at hand. What this taught me is if you lead by fear, good luck when you need saving by freak accident LMAO! Thanks to him it became super clear to me leading by fear is not the answer. While it might get you the results you think you want, just wait until you’re in need of help. Bathe in the silence and lack of action of those around you.
My piano teacher also refused to teach us Für Elise because he said it was “too romantic.” Oh yeah? I’m not sure if he realizes how piano playing inherently is romantic and so that felt a bit ironic to me. It’s like wielding a giant axe and saying we’re only going to use it to cut chives or something. The joke’s on him, I taught Für Elise to myself anyway, quite poorly as well, which is even better. Maybe one day I can play it for him with all of my mistakes every other note. I’m sure he’d enjoy that 😊
While my journey through learning piano was somewhat scary and traumatizing with this particular teacher, I’m glad my relationship with piano playing itself had shifted more positively throughout the years. When I realized I can use the skills I had cultivated to start learning pieces that I actually wanted to play and listen to, not just the classics, it became a much more enjoyable process. Through the years I picked some pieces that really resonated with me and found satisfaction in learning how to play them. While I’m not the best pianist, I like how I can provide enjoyment for myself, and others, through my piano playing. It’s been over a decade though since I seriously learned something new and so it’s been a bit of a rough journey starting back up again. But with a bit of practice every day I seem to be seeing reasonable improvement over time which is good enough for me. I hope I can share some clips soon when I feel more confident with the pieces that I’ve picked and hope you will enjoy what you hear, mistakes and all 🙂