I wrote this post to honor an amazing and truly wonderful friend of mine, Adesina. It’s kind of funny how we became friends. We were always in the same circles but never really got to know each other well due not wanting to step on anyone’s toes, I suppose. But when we both went through a rather dark phase of our lives, we naturally came together and discovered that we had SO much in common and were basically going through the same lessons at the same times. It’s completely mind boggling how similar our growth paths have been. In hindsight, I can confidently say she is my soul sister.
We spent the past decade supporting one another by holding each other accountable and helping hold the light for one another as we worked through some really dark stuff. The amount of respect I had grown for her watching how resilient and formidable she was, through all of the setbacks, greatly inspired me to work through my own stuff too. Seeing her in the trenches with me made such a huge difference knowing that I wasn’t alone in this fight. Stories that I’d share about how I overcame my own issues would help inspire her to deal with her own. It was like a constant beautiful and virtuous cycle of growth synergizing between us.
Oddly enough, in hindsight, I’m now grateful that we both experienced what we did and found each other. I think that helped us create a much stronger bond through our shared struggles. She once told me she never knew that someone else like her could exist in this world and now she’s happy she’s found me. I took that as a HUGE compliment because she is one of the most intelligent, loving, loyal, sweet, generous, kind, trustworthy, compassionate, empathetic people I know. I am glad we discovered that we are two peas in a pod. It feels fated to me how we became friends and I’m all for it!
Something that really had me reflect a lot was when I noticed no matter how awful others might’ve treated her, she always had so much empathy and love for them. I thought it was crazy! Like, where’s the justice!?! But I think what ended up happening is she reflected back to me my own capacity for unconditional love and forgiveness and that was the gift in itself. I loved seeing that part of her as it helped soften me up.
When she offered to travel and come help me with my make up for my wedding, without my asking, I was floored knowing how rough of a trip that would’ve been for her. I’m quite terrible with make up and so it was such a blessing to have her help. If it were up to me, I would’ve looked like a clown that day, LOL! I will never forget this giant act of kindness. She told me it was an honor to make the trip and I’m just like ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜!!! I made sure to take good care of her while she was here though! What a lady.
I came across this song one day and was like BRAHHHHHH this is OUR ANTHEM(!) and immediately sent it to her. The lyrics were so 🔥🔥🔥!!! I felt like the song pretty much dictated our experience together and what we had dealt with years ago, finding sisterhood with each other, and rebuilding ourselves into our authentic Selves, like phoenixes rising above our ashes reborn anew.
The part of the lyrics that really stood out to me was:
The sacrifice we gave
To watch it fade away
Now arm in arm my friend
Together we can mend
And build our strength again
and also:
We are the ones who will rise again.
We are reborn again
There was a moment in our friendship that touched my heart deeply and I think it was when we both realized that we had become best friends. Due to a traumatic experience I had as a teenager, the term best friend had become tainted for me and I never wanted to call anyone my best friend again. But through this shared healing journey, I changed my perspective on it. Apparently, when someone is authentic, compassionate, willing to do their inner work and not blame me for their issues, and actually cares about me, it’s totally okay to establish a label like that with them lol.
Anyway, I could continue going on and on singing her praises but I just really want her to know how special she is to me and that I’m forever grateful for our friendship. While it was born out of necessity, our friendship had grown into something quite beautiful, strong, and everlasting. Through her, I finally understood the true meaning of sisterhood and how when it’s authentic, it is an incredibly potent force to behold.