As I’ve been going down memory lane continuing to tie up loose ends, I thought back on friendships and connections I’ve had that were really meaningful to me and there is one that comes to mind that I’m not sure what to make of. I remember this friend being incredibly special to me.
We went to different schools but met through a mutual friend. We spent so much time talking to each other online. One of the smartest people I knew at the time, yet also super silly, and we would have the dumbest jokes with one another. I don’t even know how to describe how dumb some of the stuff we said to each other were but it brought me a lot of entertainment. I also remember how much I valued our friendship.
An example of how dumb we were together — I remember this one particular scene in Nacho Libre that we thought was funny AF. It was the letter reading with the hugs and kisses. For some reason the “big kiz litto hug kiz kiz litto kiz” made us laugh so hard and became a thing. I’m not entirely sure why but maybe it had to do with our own letter writing?
Speaking of letters, I recently came across something from a stream of consciousness that my friend had written to me back in the day that left me a bit startled:
I got a cute belt that I can whip you with when we have
kinky sex.
I stared intently at this line while stroking my chin and tried very hard to remember my reaction back then. Did I even know how to respond to this? I could not. I just know usually when faced with stuff like this outside of my usual frame of reference, my mind completely blanks. Imagine my surprised pikachu face while reading that line. Knowing how silly we were, I think I automatically assumed it was a joke. But I did tell my friend recently that I will never look at another belt the same again lol. I guess I’m grateful that we were able to play around in such a way because that was funny AF. I could be wrong but I don’t believe anyone else had written anything like that to me before so it was a first lol. And if you’re someone who did write such things to me, I’m sorry but my memory isn’t always the best 😢
This then lead me to remembering another situation we had where my friend shared a video link with me. I remember seeing “Paris” in the filename and eagerly clicking on it while curiously anticipating what awaited me. Baguettes? The Eiffel Tower? The Louvre? Well, the video was dimly lit and there were *very strange* noises. Could you, again, imagine my surprise when I found out the video clearly labeled PARIS had absolutely *NOTHING* to do with France? Shocker. I won’t go too much into detail with what I saw but all I can say is AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! MY EYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AND MY INNOCENCE!!!!!!!!!! iCRY! 😭😭😭
You know, now that I think about it, this wasn’t the only friend who seemed to enjoy such interactions with me. What is it about me that makes friends want to witness me go unga bunga? Do I just give particularly entertaining reactions? Is there something about my innocent demeanor that makes people want to test it? I’m starting to see a pattern here and I’m not sure if I should be concerned or flattered lol.
The funny thing is, contrary to popular belief, my mind is actually quite tame. I often think more about things like cute bunnies, ice cream, toys, video games, dumb and silly things. Sometimes I think about the meaning of life or things that make people laugh. Or quite frankly there’s really not much happening up there at times lol! And sometimes I feel like I have the mind of a 5 year old. Maybe that’s precisely why friends find my shocked reactions so entertaining — the contrast between their expectations of me and my actual innocent thought patterns.
While I don’t mind my friends testing my boundaries in such a way, sometimes the shock is so strong my brain just goes full unga bunga and short circuits. Perhaps this is my friends’ way of bringing balance into my life? If so, thank you? LOL! I do very much appreciate my friends helping me stretch my comfort zones as that helps me grow but pleaseeeee, some things might be better left to the imagination. Like, I don’t really need to see what girls can do with a cup. I closed that one out real fast 🤣
As insane as our experiences were, I still cherish the memories I had with my boundary pushing friends. I just wish some of the experiences were a little less… innocence shattering for me lmao. But I guess that’s just how it is sometimes running with such uniquely special people, things be crazy lol. Gotta love em for keeping me on my TOES!