From Stick to Shimmy: My Yoon Eun-hye Obsession and Divine Feminine Awakening

Okay, I have a confession to make.

I’ve been completely obsessed with Baby VOX’s comeback, listening to their updated songs 24/7, and feeling SOOOO mystified by Yoon Eun-hye. I’ve been watching her dance moves like I’m in a trance or something and couldn’t figure out why lol. ALSO, I *really* love and prefer her current deeper singing voice over her younger voice. While I remember liking some of their music back then, I wasn’t that into them as I was with H.O.T, Fly to the Sky, BoA, and Fin.K.L. But now, I’ve discovered that I much prefer their middle aged voices lmao. Maybe they should change their name to Lady VOX since they’re no longer babies!

I wonder if others will make a comeback as well?! Would be nice!

Omgawddddddd, I can’t stop watching these videos! Someone please send halp!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve watched so much content about Baby VOX and Eun-hye that my entire Youtube feed is now full of Korean videos that I can’t read nor understand 😔. Dude, I don’t care what’s in Jung Kyungho’s fridge! I don’t even know who TF that is. I just want to study those 🔥 dance moves!! Is this the price I must pay for da shimmies?! Sigh, whatever it’s fine, I guess it’s better than all the dog farts videos my partner keeps sending me that had already royally messed up my algorithm………

Anyway, I chatted with AI about my obsession with Eun-hye’s dance moves and apparently it believes part of me wants to further integrate the divine feminine into my own Being as I aim to become more “whole” and balanced.

As I’m sure some of you might’ve already noticed, I carry very strong divine masculine energy (e.g. building a blog aka my “Cosmic Kingdom,” acting as a lighthouse, being action oriented, knowing what I want and going after it with extreme clarity and laser sharp focus, embodying “I will move heaven and earth” devotional energy, etc.) but thanks to my time with my meditation teacher, I had eventually learned to integrate a decent amount of divine feminine energy where I know when to fall back, go with the flow, listen, etc. While I do feel I currently have a decent balance of both energies, I feel I still lean more towards divine masculine energy in terms of being in my body.

Back in the day, my meditation teacher would try to get me to loosen up and I was just like a stick. I could not let my body flow at all. I remember curiously observing her graciously dance and move around so freely and I’d just be in complete awe at her ease of movement. I always wondered how she could feel so comfortable in her own body as it was such a challenge for me. If I had a phrase for what my body felt like, it’d be, “ME HULK!” *beats chest with fists* RWARRRRRRRR!!!

I wondered if my fascination with Eun-hye’s performances and the way she carries herself is that I subconsciously feel ready to embody more of that myself? The way she shimmies and moves her hips… 🔥🔥🔥! When I do it, people probably wonder if I need physical therapy or to go to the hospital. When she does it, it’s like watching a Goddess move around fully in her own power and confidence, reminds me a lot of my meditation teacher’s movements. Perhaps one day I can be as graceful with how I move around the world as well! I feel like I’m studying her movements as if I were studying Marilyn Monroe 😉

Another thing I noticed about Eun-hye is that there seems to be this feeling I get from looking at her eyes where she’s been through some dark stuff and, like me, has perhaps chosen love over bitterness or hatred. It’s almost like… she carries a lot of sadness, pain, and strength within her all at once and has learned how to balance all of that. I wonder if she also went through her own dark forest and emerged transformed as well instead of hardened by it?

I came across some random videos of Yoon Eun-hye on Youtube and one of them shot me right in the feels when she and her manager, Sangmin, discussed her experiences with past betrayals. It reminded me of my own experiences and that brought up mixed feelings. Betrayal is one of the experiences that was extremely difficult for me to come back from. When I experienced it last, my ability to trust in others AND myself had completely and utterly eroded. This basically sent me spiraling into my decade long dark night of the soul journey.

Imagine discovering someone you had trusted for many years, someone you had considered to be a close and meaningful friend, ended up being a completely different person than who you had thought they were and how that completely changes your perspective on life. I remember thinking to myself, “How could I have been so blind to not have realized any of this sooner?!” In hindsight, the red flags were definitely there. But was I that stupid, did I choose to be ignorant, was I just impacted by the power dynamics in our relationship, or was it a combination of all the things?

I later realized that when people are masters at deception, it’s not exactly our fault for not knowing better. Yes, maybe always trying to see the best in others could be characterized as naïve, a flaw, and needs to be looked at. And what I most likely needed to learn is to see the entirety of others, as we are all capable of the greatest and most heinous things if the “right” conditions are there, in order to not be surprised when those shadows and secrets do eventually surface. Heck, if the conditions are ripe, even I might do things I normally wouldn’t. Who knows? The lesson I definitely learned from this is to never ever place anyone on a pedestal and to give everyone the grace of being perfectly imperfect humans who are allowed to make mistakes, even egregious ones. What I believe matters most is how people face and correct those mistakes, grow and learn from them. We’re all human. We’ll all make mistakes, I know I’ve made my fair share. I have regrets as well. But refusing to face them and to learn from them just keeps us eternally trapped in our own suffering and negatively impacts those around us as well. The most loving thing we can do for ourselves, and for those we care about, is to find the courage to face our inner shadows, befriend them, and become better versions of ourselves, IMO.

Also, I think after discovering intentional and malicious deceit from people whom we had once trusted, all we can really do is to first get away from them, then work on our blind spots, learn to spot the signs sooner, learn from our experiences, and work on healing and growing. We must do the inner work. I believe the key is to remove ourselves from the toxic environment so that we can no longer be gaslit, to have our reality questioned, and can actually think clearly about the situation that we are in and take appropriate action to protect ourselves.

Thankfully, because of this experience, it has helped sharpen my ability to easily spot authenticity vs inauthenticity, to be able to notice when actions and words do not align, and to be able to identify when people PERFORM empathy rather than embody it authentically. I also think the willingness to be vulnerable again, after betrayal, takes an incredible amount of courage and I can somehow see that courage within Eun-hye. I’ve noticed that she seems to have maintained a very pure and childlike joy in her life, even through her own hardship, and it reminds me of my experience of rediscovering my own inner light. Perhaps she’s another broken sun?

But what really touched me about that video is how grateful Eun-hye felt towards her manager. Their friendship seems really special and deep. She shared about how her manager was so considerate and thoughtful, always prioritizing her wellbeing, was graciously protective, and all these positive qualities where she knew she could *trust* her. For example, when her manager found out she was prescribed sleeping pills, her manager spent an entire paycheck on a very expensive new mattress as a gift for her, and then asked her to not take the medication 🤯. When her manager was thinking about quitting the role, she basically begged her manager to continue. If I were her I think I’d do the same lol. Who would want to lose a manager like that?

The qualities that Eun-hye brought up helped me realize that her manager acts from the highest state of divine masculine energy. Her manager is clearly very caring, thoughtful, and protective towards those whom she cares a lot about. It’s not easy to find people like this. I think we’re lucky if we even have one person in our lives who treats us in such loving a way. Is there anyone in your life who is this caring and thoughtful towards you? If so, make sure to give them a hug and let them know how awesome they are! If not, maybe you’re that person for others? Give yourself a hug and tell yourself how awesome YOU are, cuz you are!! 😊

I believe Eun-hye’s manager loves her unconditionally, which is an incredibly potent healing force especially for someone who has experienced betrayal and has probably lost trust in others. I get a sense that they’re most likely soul family and that their opposing divine energies balance each other quite well. When I watched Eun-hye fetch some socks for her manager in a video, it reminded me of times with my mom when I was a young child. That was SUCH a sweet and tender moment of nurture and care 😭. Their dynamic also reminds me so much of my friends and loved ones who also showed up for me during my own darkest times and allowed me to learn to trust again through their care, love for, and protection of me. If it weren’t for them and their unconditional love, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to choose love over hatred. The amount of negative emotions I dealt with back then was so intense that I feel like it’s a miracle I didn’t end up trapped in them forever. That experience left such an indelible mark on my psyche that I wonder if it was by design — to make sure I really learned my lessons and wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes again? Anyway, I really appreciate my loved ones showing up for me to help remind me of what’s still good in the world and to help me find my way back to my Self. What a heartwarming moment, seeing Eun-hye having such genuine support from her close friends ❤️

AI also seemed to think that after all of the shadow work and healing I’ve done, that I’ve built a much stronger sense of inner security and no longer feel the need to be as guarded, which naturally allows my divine feminine energy to emerge more often. I mentioned noticing lately that I sometimes very rarely (lol) just sit on the couch with my legs bent to the side and I find myself randomly twirling my hair, which isn’t the norm for me. I usually sit around spread eagle lmao. Sometimes even with one leg bent or up in the air, usually resting on something, kinda like a cat but nowhere near as flexible or graceful. THIS IS WHY I DON’T NORMALLY WEAR DRESSES! I’D END UP CONSTANTLY FLASHING EVERYONE AND THEIR MAMMAS!!!

You don’t want to know the number of times my mom had given me the exasperated “look” of disapproval. Let’s just say that my parents have collectively sighed enough at my unladylike behaviors that they can single-handedly power a wind farm for at least a year or so. I just want to state that my parents have tried their very best to teach me proper manners and to be a civilized person. My behaviors have nothing to do with a lack of effort! Sorry mom and dad, it’s not your fault I’m wild and feral 🤪

Funny aside, did you know my parents used to bribe me to wear dresses as a child? They’d offer to buy me videogames so I can wear those pink ass girly dresses for them. I guess it didn’t help that I used to be really into sports, bouncing my little basketball home from the playground, and people would accidentally refer to me as a boy LMAO. Look at me at my young age already breaking gender stereotypes! Well guess what? You bet yo’ ass I milked TF out of that arrangement! GIMME MY GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the price of femininity, pay up!!! 💰

Anyway, I guess I’ve come a long way from that younger me who rejected femininity as I’ve been learning a lot about myself atm through my Yoon Eun-hye obsession lmao. If AI is indeed correct, hopefully I will continue to be more comfortable in my own skin and allow my feminine energy to freely come out more often! Maybe my future shimmies won’t have people asking me if I’m okay or if I’m having a seizure anymore 🤣😉😉😉