Dear Universe: Joocy Is Okay?

Dear Universe,

It’s been some time since I’ve last written to you. Sometimes I wonder if you’re even there…

Are you ashamed for me? Did you not want a certain someone to see my joocy new booty? I know it’s been some time and I’ve packed on extra pounds… downing all of that delicious depression ice cream had to go somewhere. But just so you know, I’ve been WORKING on it, okay?? So what if I have an extra tiddy or two, or three or four? It’s MORE TO LOVE! Plus, I could double as a human pillow — nice and comfy. Also… hear me out ——— what if we’re one day stranded at sea? I could become a human life-raft, an emergency flotation device. My buoyancy could literally save a life. How convenient! You really don’t have to be ashamed for me 😫

The past decade had been rough and I definitely felt the grunt of it. But times have changed. I am reversing as much of the damage as possible! I actually have an exercise routine now! As long as I’m not bedridden, I’ve been walking an hour per day for the past few months and even recently added in rucking too! I’ve been watching my diet as well. I’m doing my best 😫. At least I can still fit into my jeans from a decade ago. So things can’t be that bad, can it??? Worst case, I can just show up in a potato sack. I’m sure no one will notice.

Is it my hair situation? I know I might not look magazine presentable but I don’t look like a freak? I still look human thanks to a lovely hairstylist who I may or may not have traumatized during my neanderthal visit. You don’t have to be ashamed for me for that either. Trust me, I’m gucci. Now the hairs on my chin though, that’s a different story. I’ve been growing them out for comfort purposes. So soft. So wonderful. Like the soft hairs on a baby’s head. It feels so nice and comforting to comb them. I hope you’ll find it acceptable. I’m quite proud of them myself!

Is it because I’m not “perfect” yet? Are you afraid I’ll say the wrong things or make stupid mistakes? I probably will, but I’m more than equipped to handle whatever comes up now — way more than I was before. At least I have a much better understanding of my emotional landscape and can verbalize my feelings better. To be clear, I’m not expecting perfection from anyone as I’m quite the mess myself — full of flaws and often don’t know how to handle situations well. But I’m open to challenges and working through things. So… you don’t have to worry about that either. Plus, isn’t growth a continuous and never-ending cycle? Perfection can never be achieved, right? We can only get close but there’s always a way to make things even better.

Look, I appreciate you being afraid for me and wanting me to present as my best. I’m working hard at it and doing all that I can. But if I can confidently go out in public looking like Michelin Man & Chewbacca had a passionate night of lovemaking and created an entirely new species, and still fill all the spaces I enter with primordial unconditional love, leaving people feeling more loved than ever, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m a bew-ti-ful mess and I’m proud of it!

Anyway, I think you’re still there and that you’re still listening. At least I hope so… and yeah, yeah I know… all in divine timing. I will have patience 😤

Your chaos baby,
Vita

P.S. I think my one brain cell is back! I seem to have more energy and don’t feel as exhausted as before. I can actually write unhinged stuff again and laugh my booty off the whole time while thinking up the stupidest stuff! Thank you everyone for sending your beautiful and healing energy, I’ve received it all! 🥰😍❤️